Well it has taken three months of being in India, but I finally feel comfortable with my life here. What I have come to realize is that no matter how hard I try or how much I want to, I can't change everything. Being so abruptly bombarded with new and different forms of oppression and disadvantage, every time I came across something new, I felt like I somehow needed to change it. Coming to grips with reality here has been a long drawn out process, filled with plenty of intense emotional experiences. The weirdest part is actually getting used to some of the things that used to put me into shock every time I would see them. I no longer wince at the sight of shanty towns and intense poverty; it surrounds me like the air that I breathe. Coming to terms with it and the way the world is, however cruel, is what has allowed me to survive and thrive in India.
When we first arrived in India, uncovering the caste system and the poverty that it perpetuated, made me cringe with unease. How could a society so blatantly disregard entire groups of people in this way? However, being immersed in the culture, you come to understand that in so many ways it really isn't that much different than what you are used to. In any society, there are people on the top, and people on the bottom, and in the case of the caste system, the arrangement is just more blatantly obvious. I think about upward mobility in the U.S. through social strata, and I realize the majority of the time it operates in much the same way as a caste system, people are born into a certain class, and will most likely stay in that class throughout their life. However, people do have the opportunity to move across these lines in the U.S. The influence and infrastructure that technology is creating in India, leads to much this same sort of class straddling, but only for the people that have the means to become a part of it. Great strides are being made in making changes in India, moving towards doing away with the caste system. What I wonder now is how much that will actually change the society. Even if the caste system were gone, would the social structure remain the same? After all, has there ever not been a hierarchy when it comes to people?
Needless to say, I had to give up on the idea that me being in India was somehow going to change the injustice and archaic social systems that I was faced with on a daily basis. Coming to terms with the fact that I would make only a small impression in the injustice, and that I couldn't possibly fix it all, has allowed me the freedom needed to enjoy my time here. I no longer feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, instead, I can feel the excitement for all the possibility for change that India will be confronted with in the near future. Breaking down barriers of injustice relating to women, caste, disability, skin color, and education are all things that have the potential to make a difference in the society. Being here and seeing all the people who are working towards making these changes brings large hopes for the future of India.
While I am here, I will make my small dent in all of these areas. Working with Balajothi, for people with disabilities, and for a women's NGO, I will help advance Women's Rights and Disability Rights. My relationships with various people from different castes, skin colors, and education backgrounds, will allow me to break some social barriers and in doing so hopefully force other people to follow suite. That is my hope for India and the time I spend here.
Realizing that it does not do anyone any good for me to sit around feeling guilty and pitying other people has been the best thing to happen to me so far in India. As evidenced by many people here, just because you live in poverty, does not mean you are not happy. It makes your life very difficult in many ways, but you can still live a happy and rewarding life. Each day here I learn something new about myself and the world I live in. Balance has been the key to understanding, along with the work I am doing here, I also take time to enjoy life. Pottery and Yoga are two of the things that help me stay balanced in a place that can throw a person off kilter in the blink of an eye. I know as our journey continues, I will be faced with experiencing and learning about more injustice in the world, but at the same time, I now understand the context in which I have to look at these things, and I understand what I need to ask of myself in order to come to terms with it. In a world as big as our, injustice is rampant and abusive, and I will continue to fight for equality for the rest of my life, but I have also learned some valuable lessons about taking care of myself in the process that will continue to benefit me long after we leave India.
